Archive for April, 2009



April 20, 2009

This is old but, y’know, kind of a Big Deal.

February 1, 2008

I had a sales meeting in S-Town today [about an hour drive].  Keira stayed at a friend’s house.  I was getting sleepy so decided to pull into a gas station parking lot and nap for a few minutes.  I pulled in and was deciding where to park when something made me look up and to my right —

— a semi was coming.

I had a brief moment of realization – “this is going to happen” – and then impact.

I rolled twice.  I wondered briefly why I hadn’t landed yet…watched the windshield crumple into a million pieces.  Glass flew everywhere – the van gave up its shape – all slow motion.  Seconds rippled indecisively then rushed forward as I sat, stunned, as a woman ran up to me.

She opened the door, commanded me to unbuckle so she could help me out.  Gas was pouring onto the ground.  I stared numbly at her, fumbling with my seatbelt.  I had to find my phone.  It was on the ground a few feet away.  She found my bag and even went back to move a shoe from the ground to the van.  I found them for Gretchen today.  Leopard-print skimmers.  I stared at my makeup scattered on the pavement then realized a small crowd had gathered and was urging me to get away from the van; a man with a white truck eased me onto the front seat and I sat there shivering, answering questions.

There was an EMT whose blue eyes I clung to and an almost-EMT who warmed my hands.  Another told me about the time she was in an accident after I started leaking tears because we can’t afford another van or an ambulance ride.  I remember names.  Cat, Heather, Kim, Lisa, Tony

Despite being my high-strung self I was very, very calm.  I admit I’m a little proud that I gave them all pertinent information and didn’t turn into a blubbering mess.  And, being me, I made a few Linnariffic comments and made them laugh.  Which felt good.

I’m home.  I’m fine.  Glass cuts all over my body; left palm/wrist a bit shredded; right hip bearing a nice contusion.  Who knows what delights will surface tomorrow.

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25ish Things, Lin-Style

April 16, 2009
I way over-analyzed this list b/c I find it nearly impossible to describe myself. I’m pretty vanilla, you guys.
Shamelessly ganked from Facebook.
  1. In seventh grade I was 4’10 1/2″ tall. Now I’m 5’10ish”.
  2. I can’t decide if I’m freaked about my birthday.
  3. Office supplies make me happy. Mmm, pens.
  4. I research things to death. I have to learn about it before I can do or decide something
  5. I have no tattoos but five or six ideas. I almost got one in Oregon this summer but got my nostril pierced
  6. When Keira starts kindergarten I will go back to school for my BA in Sign Language Interpreting.
  7. I’ve seriously considered changing my name [like, a few months ago — not just when I was 12 :D].
  8. I loved the Photography class I took in high school. I’d like to take another.
  9. I cemented my treehugger rep by using cloth diapers, a pouch sling, a Moby wrap, & a mei tai [not the drink]
    w/ my daughter.
  10. I still think about and miss lost friends and people who have likely forgotten me.
  11. I love potatoes. No…I don’t think you understand. I love potatoes.
  12. In college I bought a stick shift, then learned how to drive it.
  13. Bird things make me happy.
  14. February 1 marked the one-year anniversary of Lin vs. Semi.
  15. Dr. Perry Cox makes me swoon and Jordan is my twin.
  16. I started teaching my kidlets ASL when Keira was 3 months old and Jakob was 4 years old.
  17. I wish I had some amazing, standout talent [other than reading Adam’s mind and playing Family Interpreter].
  18. It’s really difficult for me to initiate contact w/ people.
  19. I suck at making decisions.
  20. Linnet = one of my nicknames. Linnet also = a bird. I like that.
  21. Trees also make me happy.
  22. As does lemony goodness.
  23. February 6 – was Day One, Week One of my Couch-to-5K.
  24. I usually assume the worst.
  25. My family was vegetarian until I was 14. As a result I’m completely squicked by raw meat and picky about any “off” bits as I eat.

Found a Flower at My Feet

April 10, 2009

Way back in February it was 12 degrees; there was no school and the kids were so antsy I finally gave in to their pleading and bundled them up to play outside. Ten minutes later Jakob burst inside. “Keira fell and she won’t stop crying!” I looked outside — she was lying on her stomach by the playset, half-screaming, half-crying. I leapt down the back steps and realized as I landed that I was barefoot. My left foot still has purple scars from the cuts I received as I ran over the snow and ice. I’ve never seen Keira fall and just lie there…. I scooped up her limp body and ran back to the house. I said to Keira over and over, “it’s okay baby. Mama’s got you. It’s okay.” Halfway there the pain set in.

It hadn’t registered yet that she didn’t reach for me and hold on monkey-style. The phone rang and because I’m neurotic, I grabbed it as I sat with Keira on the couch. It was Julie. I must have sounded a little panicky as I explained what was going on; she said she’d call back in a few minutes. Keira hadn’t calmed at all but the crying was strange. I can’t think how to describe it. She wasn’t really focusing on anything and as I removed her hat and coat she pushed me away. “I don’t want you! I want my mommy!” “Baby, it’s me. I am your mommy.” “Noooo you’re not my mama, I want my big mama!” The words themselves, the text, look funny. It was terrifying.

I called the clinic and as I held for the triage nurse Keira said her belly hurt. Concussion, I thought. Sure enough they wanted me to bring her in. I bundled her back up and ordered Jakob to Get Some Shoes On because we were Leaving Right Now. That boy needs to learn to heed the lightning in my eyes when I’m Very Serious. The nurse took her vitals and once she heard about Keira not recognizing me it was a foregone conclusion that they a CT scan. She walked trotted us over to the ER, explaining on the way that we could get one right away there versus waiting for approval. Handily, the clinic and the hospital are connected so we went from one world to another without stepping outside.

Keira asked for Adam while we were answering questions in the ER. Shortly after he arrived she vomited for the first time in more than two years which (understandably) freaked her out. At various points she fell into a light sleep as I sang to her and gave rubbies.

The CT scan didn’t go well. Being in pain and completely exhausted meant she was beyond comfort or cooperation. The tech held her head (yes. she screamed.) but they still had to do a second take.

We plodded to a 3×9 cave masquerading as the ER waiting room (clearly identified as NOT the urgent care waiting room). Jakob got to watch some Spongebob while I paced the cave and called my MIL and SIL. In the interest of full disclosure this was actually the shortest ER wait time I’ve ever experienced, so there’s that. After we had all been properly subdued in the Cave of Doom the doctor informed us the scan showed no trauma and they were calling it a concussion with no need for follow-up unless These Terrifying Symptoms occurred. They did not. She vomited twice more at home and was of course completely wiped by the experience, but was fine. Is fine.

For the first 3 weeks post-concussion she was extremely clingy. This made starting at her new sitter a little more difficult, but the sitter is very laid back and non-threatening so it went pretty well, considering. She is now very comfortable there and I see the personality that had disappeared at her old daycare.

My bebegirl is okay.

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