a present for you

December 20, 2009

Crumpet the Elf [David Sedaris reads from Santaland Diaries]



there is a light in your eyes

November 13, 2009

I’ve finally gone through and gathered up the posts about the Stuff surrounding Keira’s birth from my LJ memories through the end of 2005. The pictures don’t work because the server they were on is no more. …and I’m spent.

Ultrasound Pictures & News – July 6, 2005

Okay. I don’t really know how to leap into relaying stuff like this, so we’ll start simple: there is good news and not-so-good news. And now I shall just spill it all as I remember it.

Measurements averaged out to put me at a due date of only two days before my previous one, so that’s cool. So, the deal is that in Baby’s brain there are ventricles, just like in your heart. The lateral & third ventricles are enlarged. Head circumference is 1.7cm; the “limit” for “normal” is 1cm at this stage. The different may not seem like a lot, but it means it is measuring at 23wks instead of the 21wks 4 days I currently am. On the other hand, the legs are measuring 21wks and abdomen 20wks, both within normal limits. The radiologist is fairly confident the enlargement is due to aqueductal stenosis, causing hydrocephalus. I’m being referred to a perinatologist in Sioux Falls. The appointment is early tomorrow (Wednesday) morning.

FIL said we are probably looking at 1) Baby getting a shunt and 2) the possibility of the head getting big enough that they will want to do a C-section. I can’t dwell on that right now.

The ultrasound experience itself was very cool. I don’t want to forget that. We saw the aorta, which got the tech really excited b/c she said she doesn’t get to see it that clearly very often. Baby wouldn’t give us many face-on shots, but we caught a quick glimpse and I saw Baby’s wee nose. We also got a front view of a leg and both bones were amazingly clear. While the radiologist was looking at things, Adam was able to see a profile shot and the Baby turning its head.

ETA: Sorry, I totally forgot to write about trying to discover the sex. The tech was finally able to catch Baby in a pretty good position, just not crystal-clear. She said since I am this far along a penis should have been really obvious/visible, but it wasn’t — only it wasn’t clear enough for her to see labia. Take from that what you will. She thinks it’s a girl.

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aujourd’hui Keira a quatre ans

October 22, 2009

Keira is four years old today. [Pretend it’s still before midnight on the 21st.] It’s become a tradition to link to the announcement my friend Tanya made & my post about the experience.  They’re locked posts on eljay, so I will do a little c/p action.  Oooh.  Because I’m ridiculously behind, I’m also going to throw in my journal notes from spring to now.


Oct. 21st, 2005 at 6:39 PM

Hey… This is Tanya (aka LadderMonkey)

Lin just called me… *beams* I’m SPECIAL!!!

Keira Alexandra was born at 12:57 a.m. Oct. 21, 2005.

6 lbs 7.7 oz

19 1/2 inches long

She and mom are doing GREAT! Lin just sounds soooo GOOD!

Keira had a CT scan today neurologist is 50/50 on what he thinks is going on. Her head size is normal and so they’re just going to do a “wait and see” kind of thing. They take her back in next week for a follow up visit.

Jakob has not met baby sister yet… but will today!

Lin says that daddy is in love… baby has got him wrapped around her little finger and she doesn’t even know it yet.
So, leave her LOTS of CONGRATS!!!!


Keira’s birth.

Nov. 17th, 2005 at 2:47 AM

Thursday 10.20 – Friday 10.21

[No notes from today. Come on memory, don’t fail me now.]

I had more contractions through the night. I was able to sleep through them and they were irregular so I knew it wasn’t labor, but I went in to the clinic to see if they’d caused me to dilate more. I was at 5cm; I went to talk to FIL and he said if I started having regular contractions he personally wouldn’t put me on the road. He called Perinatologist to see if she wanted me to head up tomorrow morning to have my water broken or what; she said that she’d actually like us to head up immediately.

I went through my mental inventory of what had been done and what needed to be done, called Adam, and set to work. Susan was up, so she french braided my hair. It ended up being three hours before we actually hit the road. I was having irregular contractions through that time. The ILs got the call that their new van came in, so we took what is now our van. Once on the road, partly out of curiosity and partly to stave off boredom, I started timing the contractions. Hello, they were 4-6mins apart and stayed there for the duration of the hour-long trip. Between writing down times, I made sure I had plenty of lip gloss, filed my nails, and finished reading Magic for Marigold.
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September 2, 2009

There’s so much going on right now it’s hard for me to sift through what to write about and what not to write about.  I sit down and think “just write” because that’s what you’re supposed to do, like sitting under a tree if you get lost in a forest, but what if the tree falls and you scream? which will be louder, you or the tree? will anyone hear either of you?

So I don’t know what to say.  Don’t know what to write about.  I also don’t have much time to write, as I’ve been working full-time since August 3rd and in a shakedown of events will be moving to a nearby town this weekend.  School/work/daycare will remain the same…we’re talking less than ten miles.

I need to figure out what to write before I fly into a thousand pieces.


I Should Have Known Better

July 8, 2009

Do not, I repeat, do NOT try a new hair product the morning of a Meeting.

It is a Bad Idea and you may wind up with Bad Results.  Lo, the battle to finish may lead to Lateness and Lateness in addition to Bad Results, my friends, is a Recipe for Disaster.  Take a moment to reflect upon the fact that “mood” is merely “DOOM” spelled backwards.

Suddenly you’ll find yourself painfully aware that you are sitting across the desk from one of the big dogs and you are the girl with Clean Hair That Looks Greasy Because You Made a Bad Decision.  But at least it’s styled…right?



June 23, 2009

Keira was pretending to be a mom.  I was the kid.

She crawled under the covers.  “I’m sleeping.  I have a headache.”


Epic Headness, part 2

June 10, 2009

Where did we leave this? last Friday? Okay.  Pain was in full force that night.  Saturday: Urgent care clinic.  Nothing but a bill, “ride it out” and a really bad mood.  Excuse me, I’ve “ridden out” Paxil withdrawal and childbirth.  You are on my List.  kthx.

Monday: in agony by now.  Called Dr. Andersen (my PCP).  She said come back in for a spinal tap & another round of IV cocktails.  I put on my Little Black Jammas and to the hospital we went.  The best anesthesiologist was waiting (seriously — one of my best friends called him on his cell @ 1am for her epidural) and watched in mild irritation as a lab tech cherry-picked a vein, leaving two nurses wrestling with my already-bruises armed.  I’d had 2 IVs, 1 IV-attempt, & another lab poke so it’s not like they were faced with a bevy of candidates.  I suggested finding a “pro” i.e. junkie (hit my laugh quota) then the anesthesiologist took over and found one.  Huzzah.  Then he did the spinal tap.  Trust me, this time the movie’s better.  If you had a good anestheperson it will be less horrible, though.  They had to take something like 12cc, which is only 12mL, but in terms of bodily fluids it’s rather enough.  They started the magic cocktail as soon as the IV was in, so not long after the procedure was done I, too, was done, at least in terms of consciousness.

Apparently while I was out Dr. Andersen & Adam discussed the possibility of my having a form of bipolar disorder, which a) is actually one of a few things I have not self-diagnosed [let’s talk about that wretched book that made me sure I had leukemia when I was like 13] and b) bothers me now that I think about it.  In the strictest sense, did she violate my patient confidentially? On the one hand, it’s a small town, his dad’s Dr. FIL, he’s my husand, my POA, we came in together.  On the other hand, he is a separate individual, it’s an issue she hasn’t even discussed yet with me, and I’m lying right there semiconscious.  I dunno.

Neuro appt in S-Town tomorrow.  Dr. Neuro is already on the Made of Awesome List because he returned calls to Dr. A on his day off and made room for me in his schedule to be seen then rather than six weeks from now.

So anyway…I made it though my last hospital stay without screaming by evening but anxiety gets hard to ignore when your heart is trying to keep up with the blips on the vitals machine.  Knowing I was missing Jakob’s third baseball game didn’t help.  That night Adam brought movies, cuddling, and caught me when I got up to pee at 1am and decided to black out instead.  I bucked a couple times in his arms to make it more exciting and give the nurses a thrill.  That was it until the post-breakfast discharge.  I spent the rest of the day relaxing as ordered; a bubblytastic bath, a long hot shower, some reading, some intarweb connecting, some phone calls, some writing.

A night ending with My Name is Earl and a relaxed feeling with a pain-free day is NOT a bad thing.  woot!

I’ll try to get some pics of my awesome bruises tomorrow.  Yeahhhhh.

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